Right now, I’m going through a failure of not being able to
show my emotions. No matter how much I like someone, I have trouble showing
that. This comes from my past relationships that taught me not to show too much
emotion unless I know it’s the truth, because showing too much emotion can hurt
the other person. Emotions should be an easy thing to show, but something gets
lost in-between my brain and my mouth, it never quite comes out how I want to
say it. I think this stems from a certain past relationship where I said “I
love you” like it was nothing. Once the relationship was over I realized I was
way too young and too immature to truly know what love meant. But instead of
learning from this, and showing how I actually feel, I’m afraid to show anything.
I am failing to reveal my true self to those around me and there’s nothing I
can do. I try so hard to break down the wall that is stopping me from showing
strong emotion, but it just doesn’t want to budge.
When I was with my first girlfriend, we dropped the "L-bomb" really, really early and it just put so much pressure on our young affection that we broke, because kids aren't meant to have that responsibility. But that relationship left lasting impressions on me and even though the second time we gave it a shot, it was a great relationship, that first time we were together has scarred me. And she was young and didn't meant to hurt me, but now I look to other people to validate my self-worth.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, my point is, it's an awful, awful feeling not knowing how to go about showing or even having certain emotions, but you aren't alone and I think if you talked it out, you might feel better.
I think you will find yourself very very comfortable when you are truly ready to show that much commitment and dedication to someone. You may love spending time with the person, little specific details about them, or vague instances with them, but you may not necessarily be capable or comfortable with telling them that you love them yet. THATS OK! It is totally normal, and I don't think that you shouldn't worry about it so much! High school relationships should be about fun, and creating who you are! If you are accomplishing both of these things, you shouldn't worry! Have fun Ben!! :)
ReplyDelete*I don't think you should be worried
Deletep.s this looks like Mac Millers chin... just saying
ReplyDeleteI agree with Caroline exactly. When you truly love someone you will know it and you'll be able to show them how you feel. At least that's how it should be. High school relationships sometimes are the dumbest creation, but if it's real and those people mutually care for each other than it could be the most wonderful creation. It is hard to show people how you feel because 90% of people in this world will backstab you and you could subconsciously be worried about getting hurt, even if in your mind you think you aren't. Then it's just your mind trying to protect itself (if i said heart it would have been too cheesy). But just wait, when the time is right you'll be able to show how you really feel, don't you worry :)
ReplyDeleteI know that, as a guy, you've been groomed, for the most part by paternal figures, to stay stoic and emotionless. Furthermore, you might be groomed to be cold and logical, which in turn would diminish your emotions. However, the point is that emotions are what make people human and people need to learn that it's okay to have and share them. Emotions and logic can be combined to create a being of punctual expression.
ReplyDeleteyeah thats a tough subject to deal with... ive had instances where i just didnt show emotion, mostly because it was the easiest thing top do in the circumstance... i dont really know how to help you out in this sense, but just keep chugging along, youll find the right answers soon enough
ReplyDelete